On and On & On and On

just when I think I can take no more...


My cipher keeps movin’ like a rollin’ stone.

It is quite nice to move in several circles of friends. I have found a circle of sheer heaven out her in Cali. On July 30th, Saturday night around 11:30pm in Hollywood, I found myself sliding around back to what looked like the entrance to a port-o-san. What it turned out to be, was this little hole in the wall club. Hot and steamy with a DJ, actually spinning records. Jamming.....In my island orange dress I couldn't help but sway and sweat with the crowd. Too bad the club fun ends at 2:00am here in LaLa land. It was a great night and great morning. Okay, there might be a light at the end of the Los Angeles tunnel and I'm easing on down the road towards it.

Keep hope alive.

WONDERFUL WONDER WOMAN

Thank you Lynda Carter for your role suggestion for who's to play Wonder Woman in the major motion picture release, set to shoot next year. Please Hollywood, don't go with a boring fool because you think she'll draw the numbers. Let's search for a WONDERFUL WONDER WOMAN. Come on..Take a chance. Find a beautiful, gymnast who is in her last year of law school. Beauty, flexibility, confidence and depth. It's a tough act to follow.

An Open Letter to...

LAURYN HILL

Yea though you walk through the valley of fools who ridicule that which confuses them. Know this, God's child..Your battle is not to make fools understand or to school humans on the art of humanity and Karma. You are only responsible for a mastering an understanding of self and remembering to appreciate this responsibility as it is the single most important task for every individual in the world. No matter how famous, talented, rich, poor, weak, strong, infamous, angelic, demonic or whatever. It is then that these wooden soldiers of society will either crumble around you or get in line and march to your tune...Pay them no mind and continue to rhyme.

Peace, Love and Happiness,

Dayna

T "blank"C

Dear Disrespectful DJ,

When "No Scrubs" spins on the radio sans Left-eye's invigorating lyrical contribution to the song, what you have is T and C...no Love. I know it's considered a "remix" but you must've forgotten. So here's a reminder...

Left eye's contribution:

See, if you can't spatially expand my horizon
Then that leaves you in a class with scrubs never risin'
I don't find it surprisin'
If you don't have the g's
To please me and bounce from here to the coast of overseas
So, let me give you somethin' to think about
Inundate your mind with intentions to turn you out
Can't forget the focus on the picture in front of me
You as clear as DVD on digital TV screen
Satisfy my appetite with something spectacular
Check your vernacular
And then I get back to ya
With diamond like precision
Insatiable is what I envision
Can't detect acquisition
From your friend's expedition
Mr. Big Willy if you really wanna know
Ask Chilli, could I be a silly ho
Not really, T-Boz and all my senoritas
Is steppin' on your Filas
But you don't hear me though


It's just not worth playing without. Thank you for your time,

Dayna




Reminding myself to keep a copy of the song..in it's entirety, in my Calimobile. I lip synched to TLC's "What about your Friends" track on national television..1991 or 1992... MTV's game show - Lip Service.....Who's part did I take? (my) Soul sister #1, Lisa Left-eye Lopez(RIP)...Do not get it twisted.

Nubian Ambassador..

So I'm gonna get this out of my system in staying with the pen is mightier than the sword. With the hopes of release, cooling the flames burning within' me and easing my angst before I'm forced to draw.

I'm not an "Angry Black Woman" so don't start....Perplexed, Appauled and Aghast maybe, trying hard not to be angry but "For real?"

Somehow I have come to be the Ambassador to race relations amongst production Salt and Pepper. I was never offered the job. Didn't ask for it and most definitely don't want it....but I guess it's needed. And one of my blessings and curses is that I am to go where I'm needed and flee when I have outstayed the needy's "need" for me. But this is hard and as a I settle into this weird soul-less area called Los Angeles the "need" for a (sensible) Ambassador becomes more and more evident. I'm not qualified for the gig that hath been bestowed upon me. Why? Because I don't know how long I can stay calm and try to "peacefully join" or come to a "respectful" understanding for that which makes us (us being blacks &whites) different.


PREJUDICE
Pronunciation: 'pre-j&-d&s
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Old French, from Latin praejudicium previous judgment, damage, from prae- + judicium judgment -- more at JUDICIAL
1 : injury or damage resulting from some judgment or action of another in disregard of one's rights; especially : detriment to one's legal rights or claims
2 a (1) : preconceived judgment or opinion (2) : an adverse opinion or leaning formed without just grounds or before sufficient knowledge b : an instance of such judgment or opinion c : an irrational attitude of hostility directed against an individual, a group, a race, or their supposed characteristic



RACISM
Pronunciation: 'rA-"si-z&m
Function: noun
1 : a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race


How am I to respond to all the prejudices and racism I have been subjected to in my one year in Los Angeles? I have experienced every Webster given definition of... What is the proper way? Because I'm ready to flex my supposed physically superior frame on some of these silly caucasoids who habitually offend me at Yo or Hey Sistah (Hello works, biyatches.)

Who the F*&^ are you talking to like that and why? You are not Dian Fossey in the jungle trying to "relate" to a F*&^&% Gorilla (cause I know that's what you believe). You are speaking to another individual and yes I have on occasion been known to say Yo, and Word and I might slap a high-five to one of my sisters (meaning black or white female FRIENDS) but that is not the way you greet a random black woman walking into a company to do a job. Or maybe I should just go ahead and get with the... Me being inferior because of my skin color and affinity for watermelon, fried foods and dancing. The brainwashing is wearing off and I'm becoming too aware. I need more brainwashing drugs please. Purchase my screenplays so I can afford stronger medication. It's the only way, if I'm to march to this beat. Because I swear it's Yo this and Yo that and sister this and sister that. Calling someone sister (who's not of my mother's womb) or someone calling me sister (who's not of my mother's womb) is a privilege not a right. I choose my "other" sisters. DON'T F%$#ing call me sister unless we've already established a sisterly friendship, which we will never if you take this grace without permission.

And if one more person white, black, green or yellow refers to my hairstyle as braids, I deserve to get off for temporary insanity. There's not one braid on my head...NOT ONE....NOT ONE SINGLE SOLITARY....these are Dred Locs or Dreadlocks (if you prefer)....tiny hair follicles who have joined together to form a strong bond...let's take a hint from some hair follicles....they locked together and formed a bond so strong....I can't take credit for it....Forces beyond me have blessed this hair and I appreciate it. I hope one day a force beyond "our" control will bless "us" with some kind of strong bond cause' help is very necessary right about now. I can't even believe I'm forced in 2005 to address these things. I've written a screenplay about a black girl and white guy getting together and the usual crap that goes along...with a twist of course...I was told by several white people "Oh, that part of society is over." Yes... out here in the last year....It's been said to me more than once, how that part is over, not a big deal anymore.<-----them, backstroking in the river of Da'Nile.

I'm just going to give examples because folks who float in the river of Da'Nile need clear, concise examples. You can't beat around the.....

My first week here I go to a fourth of July party. I guess I should feel honored to be the "exception" but I'm sorry, I'm not. My life out here so far seems to be me proving I'm the exception to what all these protected white folks think all black peope are about...robbing, stealing, dancing, violence and weaves. I guess, I don't really know. I just feel and am most times told.

I didn't know I was proving these pre-judgements wrong, by just being me,(didn't really know I was expected to) but after a few drinks and once they realize I'm not going to pull out a knife and stab them and rob them, they feel comfortable enough to tell me how he was surprised I was there and how I 'm not like other black people..

let's pause on that thought for a minute.....

The one "unexposed to blacks" guy...told me..to my face...that when I walked into the party he thought "A black girl, Why bother?" Why bother....I'm starting to feel the same way about the whole scene. He later explained how his previous dealings (now keep in mind this man lives in Santa Monica, CA) with black women were so negative, we seem to be so angry and walk around with chips on our shoulders. Well, I wonder why. I am one perceptive fool and I swear on a cow's tit, I felt that energy when I walked in and thought " I'll be here all of twelve minutes." I stayed all night, shut the party down because I love people and I'm not secretly thinking "Why Bother?" about someone I'm having a conversation with because if I'm secretly thinking it then I'm not going to engage in a conversation with you in the first place. I'll admit I have my prejudices and I have looked at a certain race and thought the same thing and do right now feel the same way but I don't think I'm particularly superior to this entire race I am just doing what I try to avoid doing and reacting to their treatment of me....I'm not going in to who exactly I'm talking about but man have I had some confrontations with these folks.

So that was one...This guy was great and I wound up liking him and I do appreciate the honesty (I'd rather know you are inclined to hate my guts for no solid reason than not know) but I have to admit it was disheartening. Talk about misunderstood. And does the fact that I don't particularly know all the words to all the Foo Fighter's songs mean I can't accompany you to a Foo Fighter's concert. One of my friends out here tested me on this...it was a stipulation of attending an outdoor concert (one in which we had a smack ass great time.) He's one of my bud's and excused for his trespasses. I wouldn't ban someone from an Alicia Keys concert because they couldn't run down the track listing from her first album. I love exposing the unexposed to things I appreciate. It's called sharing. He is one of my best buds out here and has earned the right to call me "Sister" as I call him "Brother". The proper way. The "I managed to have a conversation with a black woman and not get my head chopped off" way.

I actually have a lot more examples but as I revisit, it really does bother me and I don't feel like piling past insults on top of ones that continue to happen each and every day I go to work. Damn I'll be glad when I don't have to do this day to day grind shit. It's much easier to gather peaceful thoughts of love and happiness for the world when you're not forced to deal with "the world" everyday. So I'm not giving anymore specific moments.

And please white people of Southern California, I know you love rap music and you are fascinated with our lyrics and lingo and lifestyle and want to observe it (nestled in the safety of your own community) and sing along and use Dave Chappellisms in the street...but.....if I'm in ear shot.....don't do it.....just don't do it to yourself. Because I don't give a damn how much money you make, what job you can offer me or how I might never work in this town again....I will .........long break.......Excuse the abrupt stop. I'm posting at work and I had to "work" for a minute...in that minute I picked up O magazine...browsed through and saw the article from her "LEGENDS" weekend...and it helped ease the fire....it put me back on the peace train... and back on the "I've been moving in the wrong circles" train. Things I'm most upset about......Dayna wasn't there and Whitney Houston's life choice in men and descent into (temporary)"insanity" has left her off the legend train (Whitney, you'll always be on my legend train..hold up the light). I mean...I would've been a waitress, a sous chef, a gardener, anything to get a hint of exposure to the energy at that lunch. Damn! Okay, Oprah, I'd like to attend the next one if not as a guest (which I'm working on) then as whatever. I'll dress up as Elmo if necessary. I suggest youpick up a copy of O magazine this weekend, wrap it in plastic and save it. I don't have a subscription to O. I keep reminding myself I have to get one but I do make sure I pick up an O magazine each and every time I have to buy a bunch of magazines for art references or for the client area on a production job...every single time. One of my best buds used the following phrase on someone in front of me and now I kill it "If you're not part of the solution, your part of the problem" love it and it's so true..so I'm not going off on this white and black tangent. I don't feel like it. You all know the deal. It's just really evident out here in Southern California. Makes any racist or prejudice New Yorker I've had the displeasure of coming across, look like a quaker. And I just can't believe how segregated it is out here. I get it but I don't get it. But I will finish the thought on these people who think it's okay to call a black person a Nigger because Dave Chappelle uses it. You are not a comedian, you are a production tart and peace train or not if I hear it.....one of two things WILL happen....Lawsuit or I'll take the easier more gratifying way out and SCAIR you. Just sit and think about it for a minute. We possess the ability to greatly entertain we we're not put here for your entertainment.....Damn!
Oh... let me add how the black men I've come across out here seem to be dealing with the aggravation of asinine assumptions. It seems black men deal with this situation by believing in "empowering themselves through p^&&#. Conquering the world one white woman at a time. And it's not an observation made from jealousy...Lord knows I'm about loving who you love and liking who you like. It works out better for everyone. Maybe if these caucausoid mountain men would pause and stop making stupid assumptions about the unapproachable "black" me, they might have a chance to love who they love and like who they like. It's a sad state of affairs and so obvious because God knows I didn't think it was going to be like this. I had no idea and I don't walk into every situation believing I'm somehow going to be discriminated against. I wasn't raised in or around that kind of scene. Montclair High School is beautifully diversified. And the white folks in Montclair, New Jersey have a clear understanding that though we may have cultural differences....if a black woman and a white woman, walking down the street, both trip and fall in front of a bus....they will both bleed red blood and even if we did have different color blood..does that mean we can just be expected to take any kind of offensive and degrading thought a human can spit out. Smile and Nod, Huh?

So, I don't know who died and left me, Nubian Ambassador of Production, but I'll continue to hold the torch (a little longer) because yes one is needed and at times it's okay, but just remember you've been warned and some help from some other black women would be nice...but the ones I've come across who are "in the mix" seem to be missing something..so much so that I can't be bothered. Missing what? Confidence is not coincidental. Will I raise my daughter in Southern California....possibly...her saving grace will be she is being raised by moi. me<-----Steeped in confidence....delusional or not I'd rather possess delusional confidence than none at all.
So, I just can't wait until I start to move in more comfortable circles, like with some former east coasters. Interesting people who love interesting people because they're interesting not because it takes their skin longer to burn in the sun....that'd be a nice scene for me. Hint, hint to some of my east coast friends and family members. The weather's really nice here. I'll scout out living situations for you and yours.

Hey, the pen might be mightier because I feel a smidge better.



SCAIR = snatching a chunk of hair from an adversary's head.

oh the yin and yang of it all....

Stinkin' Starbucks

1 out of 5 Starbucks stinks? You heard me. Stinks..What is that about? I would like to go sit in a Starbucks and sip some gross burnt coffee like the rest of the writers out here in LA but....they stink. I can say 1 in 5 because, working as a production gopher, you best believe I have been in 70% of the Starbucks out here in Los Angeles and New York. I think it's a combination of a few things but mainly..and this is just a guess, it's whatever they use to clean the floors with. I hope that's part of the reason otherwise there is no rhyme or reason. Am I wrong, or is the draw of hanging in a coffeehouse the beautiful aroma of those yummy and addictive coffee beans.



That's the draw for me..so I 'm on a search for a comfy (close to my home) cozy coffeehouse where I can sit and write and sip and people watch. I do go to the beach and write but my laptop runs out of juice to quick and I like to mix it up, (not to mention the parking situation out at the beach.) It's unfortunate because you can't go three blocks without stumbling across a Bucks of Star, but until they work on the sour mop aroma, I can't get with them.


and by the by....How about that Lance Armstrong
I'll admit, I could give a rat's tail (usually) about the Tour De France, I can't lie for the sake of being interesting, but a human, winning a major (incredibly hard) competition like this, seven years in a row....he didn't lose one year and then come back to claim his title..he straight won and won and won and won and then won and won again and won one last time, just in case you questioned his skills.
I might have to pick up a book on his life because he's not only this incredible cyclist...he's a cancer survivor..He's one of those beat incredible odds by all means guys and I love those kinds of guys (and girls.)
Inspirational!

Marley, Man

I'm going to have the lyrics tatooed to my back and painted on my car.


Redemption Song

Old pirates, yes, they rob I;
Sold I to the merchant ships,
Minutes after they took I
From the bottomless pit.
But my hand was made strong
By the 'and of the Almighty.
We forward in this generation
Triumphantly.
Won't you help to sing
These songs of freedom? -
'Cause all I ever have:
Redemption songs;
Redemption songs.

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery;
None but ourselves can free our minds.
Have no fear for atomic energy,
'Cause none of them can stop the time.
How long shall they kill our prophets,
While we stand aside and look? Ooh!
Some say it's just a part of it:
We've got to fulfill de book.

Won't you help to sing
These songs of freedom? -
'Cause all I ever have:
Redemption songs;
Redemption songs;
Redemption songs.
----
Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery;
None but ourselves can free our mind.
Wo! Have no fear for atomic energy,
'Cause none of them-a can-a stop-a the time.
How long shall they kill our prophets,
While we stand aside and look?
Yes, some say it's just a part of it:
We've got to fulfill de book.
Won't you help to sing
Dese songs of freedom? -
'Cause all I ever had:
Redemption songs -
All I ever had:
Redemption songs:
These songs of freedom,
Songs of freedom.

Bob Marley


I beg your pardon people, but it is a full howling-of-a-moon this night. Bear with me.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side, people of Los Angeles, not to get a false sense of superiority by making cars screech to a halt and drivers tremble with fear or anger.
I don't know who empowered the pedestrians of this town, but they have created wide-eyed foolish monsters who might wind up falling victim to a motor vehicle operator who is not as sharp as myself (taking a bow.) I understand you have the "right" of way but if I can' t see you when you dart out into the street like, Bambi, your "rights" will be snatched away from you as well as your ability to walk. Or if you should have the misfortune of exercising your "rights" when the Where's the Beef? lady is behind the wheel of a big 1985 Cadillac.....You may lose your life. It's not worth it. Just wait until the coast is clear and then walk, not crawl, saunter or creep, across the damn street. Jeesh!

Modeling after a chicken, might just save your life!

Might as well face it...

I'm addicted to Blog!!
It's a hot ass day here in Cali....my friend has a pool....wants me to come by and go for a swim...and how I would love to...but my ass is glued to this chair....We Be Bloggin'.....been checking out OPB (other people's blogs). I do get up when a jammin' song comes on....love my Mac and the Party Shuffle....I'm talkin.....Notorious BIG..."Ready to die" ..just played....now...."Sara Smile".... Hall and Oates...."Superstar"....the Carpenter's version just came on.....buzz kill......had to skip that one...."Bump it"....Erkyah Badu just shuffled in......great.....Push up the fader, bust the meter, shake the tweeter.......I know I'm caught up in this blog, because I have some(long) html codes memorized....sick....But the positive reinforcement I'm receiving is validating beyond words....gathering all my confidence into my arms and about to jump over the moon.....and I've decided to get back to my novel.....I'm not going to psych myself out about the proper way and can I really...and do I really..... blah....blah..blah.....I've got fiction whirling around in my head....I'm putting it to paper....and man....if it actually becomes a piece of work that sells.....Ideally....I'm on an island....taking a 4 month break from the big city......I finally finish the first draft of my second novel and have to take a ride on a catamaran to the post office to mail my next novel to my editor....Pass the Dutchie...Musical Youth just shuffled on.......how fitting for Island dreams....I have to go.......have to do some research.... figure out how to secure funding for my children's book....self-publishing baby...All the way.....at least for the Children's book....I'm not hardly self-publishing my adult novel(unless I absolutely have to, please don't make me do it.)

Peace out!!!!

POP - F4, W.O.W. and Wedding Crashers

Blessed are those who expect nothing for they shall not be disappointed....

Tis' the new way I'm going to approach these box office movies...Why? Because I walked into Fantastic 4 with the intent on getting a twofer (two movies for the price of one)....did that...Second movie was War of the Worlds....Nothing beats a twofer if your toosh can take it..mine can and did and will again. I would've preferred to pull a twofer on Charlie and the Chocolate factory.

I went alone late at night. Walked out of War of the Worlds at 12:10am....still a bit disturbed....not disturbed at the quality of the movie...Senor Spielberg has mastered his craft....he can now go master the Culinary Arts or Karate or whatever else he feels like......because he is the man when it comes to Directing a movie...I don't have a bad thing to say. I was told to save my money on this movie. Are they kidding me? Tis' why I tend not to listen to other people...only my inner people and they said go see it. I was on the edge of my seat (good thing considering I had just sat through 2 hours of F4). I mean I really just went there...lost myself... even after I saw a part of the War of the Worlds set at Universal Studios ....I got drawn in so hardcore that I found myself rooting for the aliens...I wanted to yell at the screen "What are you looking at dumb ass Run, Humans, Run........if that's the way humans act in a crisis then I hope an Alien ship lands right on my head so I don't have to witness it (unless I'm to save a few people.) The lead character, single part-time Dad, Ray Ferrier (Tom Cruise) got under my skin just like he was supposed to....that little Dakota Fanning is not of this earth with her talent. Talk about a Hollywood leading lady..little lady

She has already played opposite...Sean Penn, Denzel Washington and now Tom Cruise to name a few, all by the age 11. And I've loved her performances in all of them....not just me.....everyone....Critics, Directors and Joe Blow at the newstand all agree.....Dakota Fanning is a screen gem. So tiny and talented. I mean that's all I have to say really....I spoke to some movie goers who really moaned about the last three minutes of the film...some didn't get it..some got it and were really pissed about it.....I get it, got it, liked it...what can I say. Dakota Fanning also shared the screen with Robert De Niro in HIDE AND SEEK, but I'm always slow to see movies I consider scary...

FANTASTIC 4

Another pleasant surprise for this apprehensive yet eager movie goer. One annoyed reviewer felt there was no reason for Jessica Alba to be in the movie and I was prepared to agree....mostly because of the movie HONEY which I'm trying to never see. I liked her and everyone else in the movie. I am a big fan of Marvel Comics, though not Fantastic 4 really and the movie has now sparked my interest in the comic book. I'm not saying I'm going out to buy a bunch of F4 comic books and read them but I will buy one to read and one special edition to package away for a hundred years from now..Overall a fun and action packed movie.....You go Marvel Comics. Make em' all....X-men, Spiderman, F4 keep em' coming. I eagerly await F4's next box office adventure (and X-men and Spiderman) and though I sound like I can be easily sold on a Marvel Comic turned Movie...I'm not...not at all. And was very disturbed about the casting of Halle Berry as Storm for X-Men....don't suck your teeth....I like Halle Berry and I love that she is a working actress....but....Storm the comic book character is straight from Africa....Straight...untouched by massa'....How the hell? Why the hell? A search for a woman who resembles former supermodel and wife to, David Bowie, Iman, should have ensued. I take it as a personal slap in the face to the deeper shades of brown ie....myself. Now that's a STORM..If they just couldn't go there, then they should've tried for Jada Pinkett...a much more commanding and confident Storm. I mean come on...Storm is an action hero who commands the weather for God's sake. But X-Men and X-Men 2 were so damn good...I have partially forgiven Hollywood. Maybe in 2050 when it's remade..they'll cast a proper STORM. Again...I like Halle Berry...and I would've taken this role to. If they came to my non-acting ass right now and said would you please try being Storm for X-men 3....best believe I'd inhale, try to avoid looking at myself with platinum hair and go to it....the outtakes would be priceless. But I guess I should be happy they didn't just kill her character off and use some inferior mutant to replace her....wow I really just went off on a tangent. What was I reviewing...Fantastic 4.....
The movie was made to entertain and thrill....it succeeded...the audience (including myself) clapped at the end. Same clapping action went down in Spiderman 2 (myself included.)

WEDDING CRASHERS

Another movie where a single actor saves it from the Abyss.....Vince Vaugn was doing his thing. How much you gettin' man? Tell them you officially go for more now. It was a cute movie. Funny moments. Everyone played his or her part. And....if cloning is really going down in some secret underground goverment lab in the middle of Arizona.....please clone Sir Christopher Walken...please...just do it...I can never get enough of this man....I forgot he was in this movie (even though his name is on the poster) and the movie was dragging a little in the beginning....so when this Hell of a guy, made his first appearance I almost stood up and clapped...I felt like he had just walked out on stage and waved to me (but that's my own issue)...I know he's up there in age...but damn...he's just....I'm not going to take you there...he's great...ANNIE HALL....he was in this 1977, Woody Allen classic for about 5 minutes and it is my absolute favorite part of the movie. He really is the man. He would've been a more commanding STORM, if he could stand the platinum wig.


So the movie was good. Not great...good...It could've been great....a lot had to happen in two hours.. and it all happened.....the pace of the movie....I don't know....I'm not a Director.....but it felt weird...Like a car that needs a wheel alignment....would I add it to my DVD collection....No....but I would take a six pack to a friends house and watch their copy.

I didn't do a threefer...no way...I went with friends to see Wedding Crashers.




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