AND WALKING TO THE EDGE OF NOWHERE,
would be the title of my Sunday walk in Los Angeles (if I had to title it.)
I map these walks out in my head and they seem totally do-able. I hit the streets(i-pod-less) with just me and my thoughts and a credit card for the reward , a hearty meal....that's right...could be worse. I could have it delivered, roll over in bed, eat a hearty meal and roll back....Instead I set out on a mind clearing, waist-maintenance walk (patting myself on the back.) The walks are nice for the mind and it gets the blood pumping.....but I do believe genetics play the bigger role in the "decent" waistline area. I'm not obsessed with weight gain or loss.... I come from family with a vast variety of sizes and shapes....and nobody's trippin' about it.....Out here in lovely LALA land.....everybody seems to be trippin' (even me now..a little) The kicker is when some (heterosexual) guy I thought was kind of cool starts going on about his weight and how much he's gained and has to watch what he eats......Good Lord.....I've never noticed men talking about their weight until I moved here.....Not to insinuate the average East Coast man doesn't care about his weight...but he refrains from talking about it in mixed company....it's not the norm. It's the norm here. They could use the "Hey we live near the ocean!!" excuse, but I'm not going for it. Don't talk about it.....Just be about it...Please spare us the details.....MAN.
So......I head out with the plans of a two hour walk....one hour until my destination...nice meal...or movie.....and an hour back. I do believe, a man who wanted to see how crazy people would become if the roads and freeways were crazy must've designed Los Angeles.....because.....my so called two hour walk...turned into a five hour journey through the desert (at least that's what it felt like when I tried to find a place to BUY a bottle of water). And once I found a place that was open I was scared to drink water because you know what comes after input...output..... and who knows where I would be when nature decided to call....... MadDayna beyond the thunderdome....Streets just friggin' end....no rhyme, no reason.....and a lot of them. Then they pick up again....but if you're on foot, you can't chance following a road that just ends..and you can cut two hours off a walk by heading south on this block instead of that block but if you take this block...going the same way...it's going to take you four hours......I was like a mouse in a maze.......A not so innocent looking citizen pulled over and asked me if I needed a ride.....mind you...I'm decked out in workout gear, no purse, no backpack....I look like I'm excercising but to him I guess I just looked like a victim.....I don't make a very good victim so.....I yelled back....LOUD....so the people hidden away in their homes would hear...."I'm exercising, man!" Apparently not into a scene.....he sped away......I steered a Ford Expedition filled with six ready to shop girls....Away from Rodeo drive....I didn't mean to...being a woman...I'll admit it....I said make a right instead of left..they we're well on their way before I could correct myself...I just hoped they wouldn't get the opportunity to reprimand me for my mistake.....and three hours in....just when I thought I could not go on and considered calling a cab, but knew I was too close to home and food to go out like a sucker...A sweet (cute) guy on a bike slowed down...told me I had nice skin and kept it moving.....Thank ya Sailor...I needed that......A little compliment sure goes a long way.....I was able to continue (by foot) to my (first) destination and take enough of a break to continue home.
Now to admit where my first destination wound up being.....originally it was another store.....Los Angeles is much bigger than the map in my head ....so I had to forget my original goal....it was beyond unrealistic....I wound up at...a..... THAI restaurant... I was not a Thai fan in New York, at all, though everybody and his or her brother was....I would always say please no Indian or Thai but somehow I always wound up at a Thai resturant (lesser of two evils) with Production folks...Lemongrass on seventh ave was one of the favorites, Republic in Union Square was another...though I don't really know if they were officially Thai....I do know it was a Production favorite and I left the east coast, not having found a dish I long for or even really want just for nourishment.....Especially since Republic was across the Square from Zen Palate.....a vegetarians haven.....I'm not a vegetarian......but they really did wonders with vegetables....and I do miss the Cranberry Iced Tea....I could sometimes talk the less militant production folks into Zen Palate over the "trendy" Republic. Every attempt to find a "safe" dish was useless...I just couldn't get with the daring mix of beef, shrimp, noodles, pineapples, papaya and nuts of all sorts. Food being my first love, nothing was more stressful to me than trying to find something I like at one of these THAI restaurants folks love so.....I have officially been converted. Sunday, July 3rd was the first day in all my life.....I have ever craved and initiated a Thai meal. I even passed one of my yummy little french restaurants to make it to this restaurant (only a few blocks.) I ordered Nutty Chicken (mild) and Chicken Pad Thai...I can't believe it.....and as I type right now...I'm sipping on coconut juice(wondering what they thought I was going to accomplish with this plastic spoon and this hard coconut) and about to end this post so I can go enjoy the Thai that was just delivered to my home...What's happening to me.....I can no longer think while the aroma of yummy Thai food(clearly laced with crack) sits on my kitchen counter.....Peace...
And let me add....the guy who asked me if I needed a ride could've just been a good samaritan (yeah right) but I'm always about placing safe over sorry....
Also props to my favorite woman in the world......My Great-Grandma for giving me the cool saying "Sweatin' to beat the band"......and many more of my Grandma's verbage.... will, I'm sure, float from the caverns of my mind out into the universe. At least I hope so...because she is a gem and comical in a very serious way. I say hope because its involuntary. I usually don't notice what I'm saying until someone else flashes me a "Did she just say what I think she said?" grin.
Still haven't seen WAR OF THE WORLDS....dangnammit!!