I snuck in the conference room at work and caught most of the Oprah show today.
Okay, so I have marinated in issues of closeted men for most of my adult life. It started with the reading of E. Lynn Harris' first novel, "Invisible Life". And just recently in my thirties I have been able to get a grip (because I was trippin') and then I see this drama on Oprah.
Best selling writer, Terri McMillan's ex-husband Jonathan Plummer decided he was gay three years into the marriage. And admitted today on Oprah that he engaged in homosexual acts while married to her. OH MY GOD!!!! If you realize your gay well into the marriage....please leave before you ACT on your feelings. Her ex-husband claims he didn't want to hurt Terri's feelings. I don't care what he says, he wasn't trying to leave that cash cow and I'm sure he's loving his U.S citizenship. Why are we always trying to have our cake and eat it too. Karma is no joke. I don't care how young he is and how he needed to find himself, he's not being honest to her or himself about his reasons for going out and putting Terri's life in triple the danger than if he wanted another woman. Triple, Quadruple and then some.
I just started dating again and it makes me ill...It really does. The risk .....The risk...The risk of AIDS is the main issue I have..aside from the lying and being betrayed...what this male may have bought home on the tip of his you know what because he lacked the courage to just kick in the door and tell that woman he is leaving right now because Vagina repulses him. I love a gay man who is repulsed by a women's family jewels. It's upfront and honest. This is really disgusting and horrifying..Please...
Open letter to the man I wind up with.......If during our relationship you have an epiphany and want a man or another woman or a goat or a sheep or whatever...please dig deep into your inner power supply and find the courage to either:
A. Come to me and tell me and let me decide if I can deal with it. (which of course I'm not)
B. Pack up all your belongings while I'm away and then come find me and tell me you're no longer into this and let me go through it on my own.
But don't bring down the wrath of God on yourself by lying and cheating and jeopardizing my life because you didn't want to hurt my feelings. I can deal with hurt feelings...I can't deal with infections and cooties. And that is that. Don't cheat...just LEAVE.
I understand finding yourself or realizing your this or that or you may not be who you thought...That's life. Hey, me too! But...handle it like an adult with sense not like the Friggin' cowardly Lion.
People keep saying how crazy Terri McMillan is because she's acting like a betrayed woman.....I guess I'm crazy as well, because I would really have to go on to some mountain in Tibet and meditate for three years to keep from....who knows what.
I will say this for Ms. McMillan....Some of the best novels come from serious hurt and pain...I was doing my thing last year when I was all depressed. But it's still in the pain reservoir...I'll call on it soon. She'll have a good one to write when she sits still for a minute and starts working through all of her "Cheating Gay Ex-Husband" pain. Keep hope alive.
Though I have to say honestly when I first saw Terri McMillan's husband years ago...you couldn't tell me he wasn't gay anyway..same with Vivica Fox's ex. Just my opinion. Not stating any facts.
And that's all I have to say about that.