Tuesday, August 1

Cooties, Shared Germs and Executives....OH MY!

Why on God's great grand earth do people, especially the executives at the various production companies I freelance with, think or fail to think about how WE THE little PEOPLE, don't want to share their bodily excretions. I've seen it too many times. I've had to throw away good meals because of it.

My angst of the day....I was two seconds from popping open the side order of rice ordered for the OFFICE. Not for one executive to walk by....sloppily tear the top off dip his friggin' personal fork into it, take a mouth full, pause because it was so good and circle back around to dip his fork in it again....again I say. This man, this executive who...for all I know picks up prostitutes on Sunset every night while simultaneously tongue kissing his dog, didn't think once or twice about mixing his saliva into the batch of delicious looking rice that I now have to go without. My Achilles heal is being denied good food. And I know all kinds of stuff goes on in kitchens and blah, blah, blah....the office is not the kitchen and I'm not hanging out in restaurant kitchens to see what's going on, because I don't want to know. But these executives are blatant with it.

I had an exec. at a different company, my first time working there, she didn't know me from Adam, Eve or Amy, but she felt comfortable or goddess of her office enough to put her (God knows where they've been) fingers in my plate and grab some fries. This woman who owns a big dog, loves her big dog and I'm sure feeds him right from her own fork. That's your deal...fine. I was raised by a Southern woman who taught us that dogs and their excretions, belong outside. I make doggie cootie exceptions for people I know and like and little cute dogs, but I'm not stopping in the street to coo and make out with random dogs. The obsession with dogs as pets is ownership and loyalty but if an owner really stops and pays attention, most dogs, a majority of dogs, will follow the food. Not the love of some human holding them captive and dictating to them when it's okay to eat, pee and other gross things. And I said OBSESSION with dogs as pets. We had a dog named Christmas, Chris for short and I loved that little so and so. But he knew his place and his place wasn't on my bed or my Grandma's bed or our couch or the dining room table. He slept UNDER my Grandma's bed and spent most of the day running (and shitting) around the nice big yard we had. And if he had a momentary animal instinct relapse and jumped on a table or couch, he was quickly reminded. Don't call the humane society yet, he understood my Grandma's stern voice and my hysterical screaming to mean he was doing something wrong. That is a normal animal/human relationship. Chris was great company for me and protection even though he had a mean bark and that's about all that was mean. But fools coming to violate didn't know, they just heard a wild animal with sharp teeth warning them to stay out of our yard. But again....I digress.

Back to the executive cooties running through my bloodstream....I'm at her company, working for a living, I'm not the Princess Leia to her Jabba the Hut. She doesn't know what I did to that food before she came along and violated my plate and I don't know what she did with her fingers so......I tossed the whole thing and subsisted off of water for the day. It's an outrage. And honestly I've experienced it in Los Angeles not New York and I've worked for years in both places.

I really don't know if I'm really staying here in Los Angeles, yes the weather is da' bomb. But I have winter coats and boots and I'm really, really not feeling the majority of God's children I've come across here in the city of Los Assholes.
Being here is beginning to change how I feel about people. I find myself saying some really nasty things to and about everyone I come across and I'm trying hard to love all God's LOST children. I had to reprimand myself because I actually had a moment where I wished for an earthquake in Los Angeles because I felt that would be the only way to put these egomaniacs in check. Mother Nature is the only one. Shake things up a bit and let these people know...the one with the most money and power, still dies in the end. If you want me to be impressed figure out a way to live forever (an awful thought) but if you can do that, then your money DOES count in the realm of nature and life and death. If a tornado hits the center of a city you are visiting and your money and position at some company keeps you from being swept away while everyone around you flies into the air...then I stand corrected. Pour some hot fudge on my words so I can much away on them. And then bring me some stockings and dress suits, I'm about to become a natural disaster exempt executive.

A 45 minute break.....


Again one of my rants was interrupted by work. And good thing. It always reminds me of how important it is to WALK AWAY. I must walk away, cool down and then return. It's what I have to remember in all aspects of my dealings with humans, from lovers to friends to family to stone cold enemies although I have forgiven all former enemies so I no longer acknowledge having them. Walk away and breath, don't drink or anything like that just walk away.

What I will say about these gross execs who have somehow equated their positions of power with making all others in their company ingest their cooties, is that when I come across, the kind and sensible production company executives who are pretty well adjusted and grateful for what they have been able to accomplish over the years, it makes me appreciate the absolute hell out of them and then I go above and far beyond any of my duties to help and make sure I respect their homes (offices) when I'm in them. God help the nasty and ungrateful ones whose homes will be amongst the first to go in whatever natural disaster is coming this way. Not their families, just those possessions they hold so far above human interaction. The humbling experiences we all have, to remind us of the kind of people we are supposed to be. Thank you very much.

And while I'm ranting.....let's just address Mr. Mel Gibson. One of my fav's. I've never seen "The Passion of the Christ" because I heard it was extra specially gory and I just can't take it, I really can't. But cheers Fool for having the balls to make it. And so I'm in Starbucks today and I hear this woman going ballistic...."Yes he apologized, but he didn't mean it and I hope it doesn't work". I mean discussing it like this guy aimed a nuclear war missile at Switzerland. I know she's talking about his apology not being accepted by more of those lovely executives who are making the decisions about his professional career. And I say this....



Firstly.... if this is really your mug shot, good for you Mel Gibson, you look damn good for a DUI charge.


Secondly...Here in Hollywood, Film Directors can molest kids, kill their wives, do lines of cocaine off the backs of underage mail order prostitutes and a whole lot more and still get a busload of work, respect and awards. So for real they are trying to Crucify this middle aged acting talent who we've all loved for so long. He really set himself up for some dumb shit to go down in the name of religion. Damn Mel. I say you leave the country for a while. Like Michael Jackson. It's about to be the new movie "The Passion of the Mel" because he's about to get his testes handed to him on a brass platter (not even silver.) Though I'm hoping for a swift blow over and then on to the next bullshit controversy.

and Thirdly.... I read that he referred to a female officer as Sugartis (hilarious.) I think Sugartits is a compliment. It's better
than being called Bittertits. Right?

I mean a lot is going on in the world right now and Mel was probably just getting out some of the many thoughts that are going through plenty of folks minds. Not mind per se, I remain silent about these wars because I feel too helpless and distraught.......see.....zipping my war tongue right......now. So give Melle Mel a break. He did take a load of crap over his career decisions and clearly he has a bit of a substance abuse problem, like every third human in the entertainment industry.....hey me included. Coffee is da' bomb and I can't stop. But I have yet to crash a car over some coffee, even when I happen to spill a hot cup on my lap.

I'd like to teach the world to sing.... in perfect harmony......perfect harmony and then I'd like to buy the world a coke...but only the ones made to for distribution in Mexico because they are made with real delicious SUGAR, not lethal High Fructose Corn Syrup.


It's just so crazy to see what pisses the masses off and what the masses are willing to brush under the rug. Everyone is so on edge and looking for anyone to jump on, shall I point my arrow towards the east side...ummmmm.....say......around the Washington D.C. area, for you fools who like to waste energy on the rants of a drunk and frustrated Hollywood entertainer. But I guess all this mish mosh of mishaps does make for entertainment. I wonder if God is entertained by all the things done in his name.
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