Friday, June 16
I am back. Working, living, drinking, loving and just lost in the wonders of NYC. I left Los Angeles like I was on the run from the law. I'm not back as in....packed up all my stuff. I'm back as in, coordinating an independent feature film. And although independent feature films have a tendency to be ABSOLUTELY HELLIFIED in the amount of things you are supposed to get done with zero dollars and zero time....I AM LOVIN' IT!
I've cried, I'm working 13 to 15 hour days, six to seven days a week, where I'm so amped up after work I can't fall asleep for hours. Meaning I get about 2 to 3 hours of sleep a night. Again I'll say....I AM LOVIN' IT!
I love the people I work with. LOVE. And for me that is the key. I will draw my own blood for you in the name of love be it work or professional. I have a major problem working, well better yet, we will have a major problem if I attempt to work..just for the dough. I've taken a pay cut (Good God!) and have accepted four times the amount of responsibility, and for some strange masochistic reason.....I AM LOVIN' IT!
1. My car is parked, garaged in Los Angeles...lurve it!
2. I can walk across the street from my office, to the hole in the wall pizza joint...and grab a SLICE of heavenly pizza.
3. I have lost myself in work so I can remain distracted from the loss of my best friend.
4. Bacon and egg sandwiches.
5. Drinking wine on the balcony of badass highrise apartments with unbelievable views of the city.
6. Missing my subway stop and getting a little turned around in brooklyn because I fell asleep (drunk) on the train.
Making sure I fulfill all my four food group needs when I'm in NYC...Salt, Sugar, Caffeine and Fat.
I started this post before my body started to reject this lifestlye.....Ummm...it's used to existing off of Green tea, water, ice, veggies, bacon and Trader Joe's white cheddar popcorn and didn't take long to scold me for expecting it to quickly adjust to my NYC sinful food, liquor and partying ways. I've not been congested in two years and here I am....congested. From friends and co-workers who smoke in my face. Not to say the same doesn't go down in Cali, but I believe my immune system is able to fight it off when I'm not abusing it.
This post has taken me ten days to finish...I'm finishing now. Lost my voice. I've never lost my voice not in my entire major shit talkin' life. Los Angeles has softened me. The stress of this movie I'm working on doesn't help. The behind the scenes of this movie is driving me crazy. Friendships are going down the drain. Lovin' less and less the people I work with as they begin to love themselves less and less. Realizing I didn't know people as well as I thought or they don't know me as well as I thought. People are LOSIN' it and trying to make me lose it. But I'm a rock who, I believe, suffers from some serious emotional disorder. That I would subject myself to making less money and working five times as harder on an independent film where they expect us to subsist off of fritos and twizzlers is insane. Not to sound snobbish but me body, when worked far past it's limit needs things like, carrots, celery, maybe a little hummus, is that too much to ask when you're on your fourteenth day straight of working fourteen to fifteen hour days, everyday. Some healthy, not just bags and bags of chips. But again, I'm a sadomasochist. So there you have it. I have met some wonderful people which always gives me a boost. But my body is not agreeing with my sadomasochistic ways and I am SICK. No voice to speak of...get it...to speak of. Oh, isn't it great to find humor in my agony. I'm boiling water right now for some magical garlic concoction I'm about to force myself to drink and then.......SLEEEEEEP it off. I've got to get the immune system up and running so I can continue to abuse it.
Posted by Dayna at 8:57 PM