In the great words of Erykah Badu.....

"Now keep in mind, I'm an artist, and I'm sensitive about my s*&^!"

I got my first OFFICIAL rejection letter from THE publishing company I wanted to be the home
for my outrageously adorable (and marketable) series of children's books. My blood, sweat and tears was sent back to me in the pitiful self-addressed envelope I enclosed with a even more pitiful 4X6 piece of scrap paper. With the stock response....We apologize for this impersonal response but the amount of submissions we receive, outweighs...blah, blah, blah and your work was given careul consideration....yadda, yadda, yadda but NO!!!!!!! NO!!!!! NO!!!!!!

Now I know you're saying..."One rejection letter, Bitch please." But this is how I operate. My confidence is (was?) right up there with the stars. The screenplays....I'll give you an inch on rejecting those. That's a whole other show Oprah. But this book my aunt and I have created. This legacy. I mean if I had an extra $20,000 laying around, I would self-publish the first series. Get everyone's attention and then make him come high with the numbers, for the rest of the series.

And if, if was a fifth....We'd all be drunk.

I'm running out of optimism. Even though I know, I know, it's my own belief about most things.....If you line your ducks up in a row..and it still doesn't work out, then it wasn't meant to be. I know this. I maneuver through life with this. But sometimes, I get knocked on my Arse and this is one time. I did my research on children's book publishers and reached out to this company...exclusively...because I'm not the one for settling. But I do know, what we think we want is not always what we are supposed to have and so the path for my children's book has switched up a bit. The way I would prefer it to go down...if I submit my work to a company I'm not supposed to be with then my lawyer would negotiate back and forth for a few weeks until we finally decided not to go with the company. That's more ideal and hella' easier to swallow, than a big fat, NO!!!!!!

The problem is, I've reached a dead end in the maze and I'm not sure of the next move. THIS IS MY PROBLEM. I rarely suffer from this affliction, so when it hits, it hits hard. Sucks. Truly. For many reasons. Many more than I care to share.

And not to compare, because it's nowhere near as intricate and massive (nor is it meant to be, thank you very much) but my friend told me, through my tears, that several companies passed on Harry Potter. Kicking themselves all in the arse now I'm sure. My book is much more simple aimed to spark the imaginations of the little 2-6 year olds. I already envision the border of my (yet to be conceived) baby's room painted with my character. And the next picture is walking into Target...pronounced Tarjhay....when we need to be fancy....and seeing the character on lamps, bedspreads, shower curtains and so on and so forth and shoobee doobee dooobee......

So....there you have it.

Down but not Out and working on getting back into the stars, because seriously. The book has been tested on its future consumers, any and all 2-6 year old children I come in contact with. And they all give it a thumbs up. One darling child (Offspring of two beautiful celebrities and I mean beautiful), even drew a picture of the character on the chalkboard for me after she read the book. And then we had a cartwheel competition that she quickly won. The bones of a 34 year old in comparison to the bones of a 6 year old. Oh, the CUTENESS...Last year my aunt took it to a pre-school....read it for the kiddies and they LOVED it. They even chose specific pages they loved. So these kiddies should NOT be denied. Dangburnit!!!! Nor should this kid or the illustrator who brought my words to beautiful life. As her sister (my mother) brought me to life...it's a lovely cycle....It's beyond my doing. It's heavenly ordained. SHWORD!!!!

A preview:

Segregated Survivor

OH MY GOD BECKY!!!!!

I think that is an awesome concept. I mean for real. Black, White, Asian and Latino. Dare I take a stab at who would win. I'm not going there. And I have to tell you, I don't think it would be the Black team. They will give it some lovely spice. Like pepper on eggs, but win...By any means necessary. I don't think so. It'll take a more desperate sort. Because if I was on Survivor, I most certainly would be the cause of my race being disqualified. As in.......I quit. Get me on a helicopter, RIGHT NOW! It might cause some kind of Slavery flashback of my former life and at that moment I'll need be flown to a W nearest wherver the hell they are. But, best believe, I would be offered another reality show faster than the speed of light. I'd call it something like "Dayna's Devastion". That could be the spin off.

Some NYC officials want CBS to pull the "Segregated Survivor" season....they are friggin' crazy and need to get a grip. This is America, a whole load of different races smashed together. There is always going to be an "issue". And anything from chocolate and vanilla ice cream to the President of the United States to a simple game of checkers or chess, has the ability to spark racial issues. Racial issues will cease when we've all mixed races so damn much that we don't even know what we are...We as in my Great-Grandchildren's grandchildren. Oh yes, that's where we are heading. No more African American, Caucasian and blah, blah, blah.....in the very far future.....especially thanks to black men who these women (of other races) LURVE to death, out here in Cali. The speed of mixed mutts is being accelerated and I love it. I hope I'll be on my way back to earth as one of those mixed mutts hundreds of years from now. I'd like to be a part of it.

Anyways, I MUST buy a television because I most certainly will tune in. And if by some dumbass chance CBS comes under fire too much and pulls the series, I look forward to purchasing the box set.

The success of television shows rest on DRAMA...Segregated Survivor is DRAMA FOR YOUR MAMA!!!!
GENIUS. I had an idea for a pilot many years ago and it was called "Back to Africa". That treatment was too controversial for me to even go there on my blog. The title should give you an idea.

Folks need to relax, we've got bigger problems than Segregated Survivor. It seems a majority of Americans look for any excuse to flex their angst. Survivor won't create any racial issues that weren't already festering amongst the masses of underpaid, aggravated minorities in America. That's the problem. I can't wait to see it, if I could stand bugs and rodents and things, I would've even loved to have been on the show. In my lifetime, I wanted to be on The Real World and a VJ on MTV and have auditioned for numerous game shows, was even on a few (and won by the way)but honey, hanifala, I've never had the urge to go on Survivor, Amazing Race yes. Survivor....NO THANKS!

But I still love the concept and look forward to all the Flowers in, Americas Race Relations, attic to pour down on our heads, where we are then forced to start picking up scattered petals....BRING IT!

Quotables

When I'm busy, being lazy or starting a new gig this is my blog filler....but these are great quotes. The first one is my favorite of all times. Thank you, Gandhi.



"Be the change you want to see in the world"
"As long as you derive inner help and comfort from anything, keep it."
-Mahatma Gandhi


"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."
-Henry David Thoreau


"Talent is like electricity. We don’t understand electricity. We use it."
"If one is lucky, a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities."
"Nothing will work unless you do."
"Self-pity in its early stages is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable."
-The mighty Maya Angelou


"Sometimes I feel discriminated against, but it does not make me angry. It merely astonishes me. How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It's beyond me."
"I want a busy life, a just mind, and a timely death"
"Learning without wisdom is a load of books on a donkey's back."
- Zora Neale Hurston.


"Nothing contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as a steady purpose — a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye."
- Mary Shelley.


"What difference do it make if the thing you scared of is real or not?"
- Toni Morrison in Song of Solomon.


"I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have."
- Thomas Jefferson


"If you scatter thorns, don't go barefoot."
-Italian Proverb


"If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people."
"I meant to write about death, only life came breaking in as usual."
I thought how unpleasant it is to be locked out; and I thought how it is worse, perhaps, to be locked in.
"If we didn't live venturously, plucking the wild goat by the beard, and trembling over precipices, we should never be depressed, I've no doubt; but already should be faded, fatalistic and aged."
"One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.
-Virginia Woolf



I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?
-Carol Burnett


"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck."
"I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it."
"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."
-George Carlin


The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing-and then marry him.
-Cher


"Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs."
"We are all in this together, by ourselves."
"Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?"
"Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?"
-Lily Tomlin


Love these all...

Cooties, Shared Germs and Executives....OH MY!

Why on God's great grand earth do people, especially the executives at the various production companies I freelance with, think or fail to think about how WE THE little PEOPLE, don't want to share their bodily excretions. I've seen it too many times. I've had to throw away good meals because of it.

My angst of the day....I was two seconds from popping open the side order of rice ordered for the OFFICE. Not for one executive to walk by....sloppily tear the top off dip his friggin' personal fork into it, take a mouth full, pause because it was so good and circle back around to dip his fork in it again....again I say. This man, this executive who...for all I know picks up prostitutes on Sunset every night while simultaneously tongue kissing his dog, didn't think once or twice about mixing his saliva into the batch of delicious looking rice that I now have to go without. My Achilles heal is being denied good food. And I know all kinds of stuff goes on in kitchens and blah, blah, blah....the office is not the kitchen and I'm not hanging out in restaurant kitchens to see what's going on, because I don't want to know. But these executives are blatant with it.

I had an exec. at a different company, my first time working there, she didn't know me from Adam, Eve or Amy, but she felt comfortable or goddess of her office enough to put her (God knows where they've been) fingers in my plate and grab some fries. This woman who owns a big dog, loves her big dog and I'm sure feeds him right from her own fork. That's your deal...fine. I was raised by a Southern woman who taught us that dogs and their excretions, belong outside. I make doggie cootie exceptions for people I know and like and little cute dogs, but I'm not stopping in the street to coo and make out with random dogs. The obsession with dogs as pets is ownership and loyalty but if an owner really stops and pays attention, most dogs, a majority of dogs, will follow the food. Not the love of some human holding them captive and dictating to them when it's okay to eat, pee and other gross things. And I said OBSESSION with dogs as pets. We had a dog named Christmas, Chris for short and I loved that little so and so. But he knew his place and his place wasn't on my bed or my Grandma's bed or our couch or the dining room table. He slept UNDER my Grandma's bed and spent most of the day running (and shitting) around the nice big yard we had. And if he had a momentary animal instinct relapse and jumped on a table or couch, he was quickly reminded. Don't call the humane society yet, he understood my Grandma's stern voice and my hysterical screaming to mean he was doing something wrong. That is a normal animal/human relationship. Chris was great company for me and protection even though he had a mean bark and that's about all that was mean. But fools coming to violate didn't know, they just heard a wild animal with sharp teeth warning them to stay out of our yard. But again....I digress.

Back to the executive cooties running through my bloodstream....I'm at her company, working for a living, I'm not the Princess Leia to her Jabba the Hut. She doesn't know what I did to that food before she came along and violated my plate and I don't know what she did with her fingers so......I tossed the whole thing and subsisted off of water for the day. It's an outrage. And honestly I've experienced it in Los Angeles not New York and I've worked for years in both places.

I really don't know if I'm really staying here in Los Angeles, yes the weather is da' bomb. But I have winter coats and boots and I'm really, really not feeling the majority of God's children I've come across here in the city of Los Assholes.
Being here is beginning to change how I feel about people. I find myself saying some really nasty things to and about everyone I come across and I'm trying hard to love all God's LOST children. I had to reprimand myself because I actually had a moment where I wished for an earthquake in Los Angeles because I felt that would be the only way to put these egomaniacs in check. Mother Nature is the only one. Shake things up a bit and let these people know...the one with the most money and power, still dies in the end. If you want me to be impressed figure out a way to live forever (an awful thought) but if you can do that, then your money DOES count in the realm of nature and life and death. If a tornado hits the center of a city you are visiting and your money and position at some company keeps you from being swept away while everyone around you flies into the air...then I stand corrected. Pour some hot fudge on my words so I can much away on them. And then bring me some stockings and dress suits, I'm about to become a natural disaster exempt executive.

A 45 minute break.....


Again one of my rants was interrupted by work. And good thing. It always reminds me of how important it is to WALK AWAY. I must walk away, cool down and then return. It's what I have to remember in all aspects of my dealings with humans, from lovers to friends to family to stone cold enemies although I have forgiven all former enemies so I no longer acknowledge having them. Walk away and breath, don't drink or anything like that just walk away.

What I will say about these gross execs who have somehow equated their positions of power with making all others in their company ingest their cooties, is that when I come across, the kind and sensible production company executives who are pretty well adjusted and grateful for what they have been able to accomplish over the years, it makes me appreciate the absolute hell out of them and then I go above and far beyond any of my duties to help and make sure I respect their homes (offices) when I'm in them. God help the nasty and ungrateful ones whose homes will be amongst the first to go in whatever natural disaster is coming this way. Not their families, just those possessions they hold so far above human interaction. The humbling experiences we all have, to remind us of the kind of people we are supposed to be. Thank you very much.

And while I'm ranting.....let's just address Mr. Mel Gibson. One of my fav's. I've never seen "The Passion of the Christ" because I heard it was extra specially gory and I just can't take it, I really can't. But cheers Fool for having the balls to make it. And so I'm in Starbucks today and I hear this woman going ballistic...."Yes he apologized, but he didn't mean it and I hope it doesn't work". I mean discussing it like this guy aimed a nuclear war missile at Switzerland. I know she's talking about his apology not being accepted by more of those lovely executives who are making the decisions about his professional career. And I say this....



Firstly.... if this is really your mug shot, good for you Mel Gibson, you look damn good for a DUI charge.


Secondly...Here in Hollywood, Film Directors can molest kids, kill their wives, do lines of cocaine off the backs of underage mail order prostitutes and a whole lot more and still get a busload of work, respect and awards. So for real they are trying to Crucify this middle aged acting talent who we've all loved for so long. He really set himself up for some dumb shit to go down in the name of religion. Damn Mel. I say you leave the country for a while. Like Michael Jackson. It's about to be the new movie "The Passion of the Mel" because he's about to get his testes handed to him on a brass platter (not even silver.) Though I'm hoping for a swift blow over and then on to the next bullshit controversy.

and Thirdly.... I read that he referred to a female officer as Sugartis (hilarious.) I think Sugartits is a compliment. It's better
than being called Bittertits. Right?

I mean a lot is going on in the world right now and Mel was probably just getting out some of the many thoughts that are going through plenty of folks minds. Not mind per se, I remain silent about these wars because I feel too helpless and distraught.......see.....zipping my war tongue right......now. So give Melle Mel a break. He did take a load of crap over his career decisions and clearly he has a bit of a substance abuse problem, like every third human in the entertainment industry.....hey me included. Coffee is da' bomb and I can't stop. But I have yet to crash a car over some coffee, even when I happen to spill a hot cup on my lap.

I'd like to teach the world to sing.... in perfect harmony......perfect harmony and then I'd like to buy the world a coke...but only the ones made to for distribution in Mexico because they are made with real delicious SUGAR, not lethal High Fructose Corn Syrup.


It's just so crazy to see what pisses the masses off and what the masses are willing to brush under the rug. Everyone is so on edge and looking for anyone to jump on, shall I point my arrow towards the east side...ummmmm.....say......around the Washington D.C. area, for you fools who like to waste energy on the rants of a drunk and frustrated Hollywood entertainer. But I guess all this mish mosh of mishaps does make for entertainment. I wonder if God is entertained by all the things done in his name.