I keep trying to NOT give up all my business but....Today....my mother would've turned 51 (talk about a gyp).
I've officially made it through. The fog is lifting.
I could start out with reviews of movies like Rocky and Babel. Concerts of John Legend and The Roots. I could talk about hiking in San Pedro, rollerblading by the Beach (my favorite thing about L.A.), but I don't feel like it.
I'll just say I thoroughly enjoyed all of the above and keep it moving.
Still haven't gone to see Dreamgirls, I don't know what my problem is. I've got some kind of block. I want to see it, I've been told to run, not walk to see it, but somehow...I just haven't done it yet.
The television show I was working on was cancelled, right before the holidays. CANCELLED. FIRED. LAID OFF.....I was put out on the streets 3 days before christmas. The tv world is no joke. We set up these grand offices, thinking we'll be there for a while and then when the plug is pulled....."don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya".
Madness. But I met some GRAND folks and proved to myself that I CAN take a lickin' and keep on tickin'. Cause honeychile' I was an assistant to a Producer. And let me just say, there is a part of your humanity you MUST give up to be a seasoned producer. Truly. So if one can chisel through a hardened and nutty producer's mind and heart, one can hang in there.
But here's my next question...hang in there for what? The best thing to happen to my "career" was working on that tv show and realizing I don't want to give up a part of my humanity. I like, love even, my humanity and intend to keep every single bit of it. So my goals and how I intend to reach them have drastically changed and I'm grateful. So begins the next chapter of life for this nonconformist who is trying to work out having a career in entertainment while holding on to her common sense and humanity. I tink' I've found a path. Or I'm about to grab the machete and carve a path.
Must everything be such a struggle?
P.S.
Thanks to the music of Nina Simone, Jacques Brel and the Kill Bill Soundtrack (I and II).
My new favorite song in the world is a French song "Ne Me Quitte Pas"...the great Nina Simone covered it and I found a You.tube version of Jacques Brel performing the song live...almost creepy, yet so touching and earnest, I was able to flow into the magic of his performance and never look back. Fell in love with the feel of the song without the translation...upon finding the translation...my love was confirmed.
I have rediscovered Nina Simone...currently in crazy rotation....Ne Me Quitte Pas, Mississippi Goddam, My baby just cares for me, Nobody knows you when you..."
I seriously appreciate her existence in the music world. Seriously!!!! If I could go back in time....she's one for my books.Hey that felt good. I was considering deleting this blog because I sometimes (most times) use it as a distraction from my "WRITING". But nah...I think I'll keep it. Especially since I use all kinds of things to distract me from my writing..anything from a dog barking to a car backfiring to the smell of cigarette smoke creeping into my apartment through the vents (beyond annoying).
