The last few weeks I have been missing my family and friends tremendously and missing the streets of NYC. I miss the whole fast-paced makes sense east coast lifestyle in general. And really not feeling the arrogant ignorance of the masses in Los Angeles. I actually called a friend and told her I was unhappy here in Los Angeles and maybe I should just move back. I have not said that out loud to anyone for the entire time I've been here. Her response: "WOW". Then I read my horoscope which said I would be feeling ill at ease in my current location and I swear it said don't consult family or friends as they will have little insight or understanding so it's best to decide on my own but wait on any decisions.
On Friday of last week, I was serious as hell about the possibility of moving back to the east coast. Dazed and Confused addressing myself in the first and third person. Some of the thoughts whirling around in my head:
Okay Dayna, originally it was the screenplay thing...along with your distraught state of mind that got you out here in the first place. Moving here was a necessary step in your personal growth. Okay, well now, I'm officially grown. I've proven it to myself so now I can go back to the east where people marinate in reality. I came to Los Angeles with nothing....I maintained, got work, made friends, basically set up shop and am a bit proud of my (stupidly lucky) self. Why am I torturing myself and why the hell am I in California anyway? I don't have to stay, I already set the wheels of my success in motion so let me get back to life....back to reality.
And let me describe (professional) success for Dayna ..Because it's not rising to the top in some executive office, slaving away year after year for some big fat cat's bank account. For me it's about relaxing (drink in hand) on a catamaran in St. Barth's with checks being directly deposited in my bank account for the legacy of children's books I have created.
Success (for Dayna) = very little to no work related stress because what you're doing is a labor of love. Like giving birth. I will soon give birth to this seriously enchanting children's book my aunt and I have created and I'll be able to live wherever the hell I want to live. At least that's the game plan.
So being here in Southern California was starting to weigh on me, it's not a fun place to be broke or even middle class...it's a fun place to be filthy stinkin' rich. And I'm really having a hard time adjusting to the mind set of these folks with brains baked by the sun and it's not a fun place to be alone. Though as I mentioned before I have made some really great friends...but you can't make really great family and all my peeps are on the east side of America. Well you can make family....I'm working on that one. And some great things have happened to me since I've been here. Some life changing fun events that weren't happening in New York City. So it's not all bad. But moments have been bad enough to tip the scales in favor of my moving back.....and then, this morning I step out of my house and the sun is blessing Los Angeles like nobody's business, on October 31st. 88 degrees today. And this girl loves the sun and loves being able to wear flip-flops and sandals year round. Being solar powered...the sun has tipped the scale back in favor of Los Angeles. I still have work to do here and if I can maintain through the down moments, I may be able to call Los Angeles my home at some point in the near future.
The sun really does make everything seem brighter. You've got that going for you Los Angeles. That's for certain and I'll take it.
I will always love NYC but I don't miss commuting in the snow. Really I don't.
6 comments:
Traffic sucks and people can be shallow, but the warm weather and no bugs seems like a fair trade. I could live here for the rest of my life and I still don't think it will ever be "home." I'm glad you're still here
awwwww...you're gonna make me cry Sarah :-)
I'm with Sarah on that one.
My ass has lived in a couple of different cities, one of which contained family and friends. I miss them yea, but thank God for the telephone. But even without the family and friends, the thing that I love about LA is that I can walk down the street...let the sun soak into my skin...breathe...and hear my fucking self think.
I didn't find that anywhere else I have been to date. I am currently in Chicago and missing the hell up outta some LA sun. Dammit! I wanna come home!!! In due time I know. In due time.
Missing me some Dayna too.
such language...stop hangin' with the gangs of Chicago, Miss H. :-) And have a Newcastle.
girl, i'm having one right now.
I agree Greg..I do love the fact that I can wear flip flops year round..tis nice.. don't miss the winter at all. I think I just miss my family and friends. And I soooooo bond with the folks I meet from NYC out here...all my stuff is here so I'm stayin'. But you have to admit a majority of people out here have superiority complexes without really being superior. It's tought to deal with but I'll tread lightly. Thanks for the comments.
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